How to make a mitten, part 1.

1. Decide on a pattern.

2. Buy appropriate yarn.

3. Think of funky texture details to add to mitten while washing hair in the shower.

4. Sketch out rough design for mitten, based on similar objects previously knit.

5. Walk away from pattern to spin until shoulder nearly detaches itself from torso.

6. Return to pattern, create excel chart of previously imagined funky embellishment.

7. Completely disregard fiber content.

8. Begin to knit.

9. Finish cuff. Finish most of funky embellishment.

10. Realize mitt is huge. Mitt is stretchy. Mitt will not fit recipient.

11. Stab dpn through center of gargantuan mitt (and its ball of yarn).

12. Consume caramel.

13. Consider trying to immediately redo mitt. Do not.

14. Realize it is 12:40 A.M.

15. Begin: "Mitten Fixing Procrastination Time".

16. Consume more caramel.

17. Smile.